Have you ever asked yourself, “How many times should I forgive?”

Typically such a question comes toward the end of our breaking point in dealing with someone or a group of people over extreme pain, inconvenience, ill will, and/or brokenness which has been inflicted upon us by the aforementioned person or group?

“How many times should I forgive?” implies forgiveness or at the very least an attempt to forgive has taken place.

“How many times should I forgive? further implies forgiveness has been offered and no recognizable change in the character or behavior of the offending party has been noticed.

I have been in ministry for over thirty-one years!

No subject causes
more controversy,
more consternation,
more heartache,
more questions and
more pain than the subject of
FORGIVENESS!

Even Peter, the disciple asked Jesus the same question: “How many times should I forgive?” (Paraphrase Matthew 18: 21)

Peter goes the extra mile and suggests, “Seven times?”

The cultural norm at the time was “three!”

Peter’s statement draws attention to his desire to go above and beyond the norm and more than double his efforts in forgiving his brother.

I can see the pause in Jesus’ speech.
His posture going from leaning forward to leaning and putting weight on the back foot.
His serious facial expression breaking into a wide smile.
His hands coming out from under the long sleeves of his robe and stretching out prophetically from east to west.
His comforting, compassionate and caring voice saying in a tone not too soft and not too loud, but a timbre just right, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18: 22)

I can imagine the cogs in Peter’s brain crunching to an immediate stop.
Peter’s stomach dropping to the earth as his strong fisherman’s arms try to wrap themselves around the concept of going from forgiving someone an overzealous amount of seven times to lovingly offer an offender the gift of forgiveness four hundred and ninety times!

This comment by Jesus is a mind-bender.
As a friend of mine used to say, “This strips my gears!” as he would press his hands to the sides of his head.

The over exaggeration by Jesus is pointed and to the point…
Forgive over and over and over and over and over again and again and again!

I love what Max Lucado says about the word, “grudge.”
Look at the first two letters, “gr.”
Say them out loud, “grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

Is there a person or a situation in your life which makes you go, “Grrrrrrrrrrr?”
Me too…

I am learning and relearning and experiencing and re-experiencing the wisdom of Jesus’ words – “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

One of my favorite quotes on forgiveness comes from Lewis B. Smedes:
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

I am amazed how many times I, the prisoner set myself free through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, only to walk back in the cell and slam the door shut again.

I want to be free…
How about you?

It starts with three simple, profound and difficult words:
“I forgive you…”

I’ll see you on the outside…

Laugh often and Fear not!
David!